Howdy!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know you’ve been waiting for this post for a while now. Here goes…
All over the world, bells have a universal meaning. They announce the arrival of someone or something…
When people come to your home, they ring the doorbell to signal their arrival.
When people come to the reception area at a hotel, they ring the desk bell to get the concierge to start attending to them.
When people attend church, there is a ceremonial bell that is rung to hint people that the service is about to start.
Even in schools, when class is over, a bell is rung and students know that recess is about to start.
Ahhhhh! The sweet smell of freedom!
So you see, universally, bells tend to signal that something is about to start. And that’s what makes chemotherapy so special. Bells are not rung at the start… they are rung at the end. Patients ring bells around the world to signal the end of their treatment. It is a sign that shows that the patient met their goal. The End of Chemo Bell, also known as The Bravery Bell, is a symbol of hope for patients. It means that no matter how many treatments you had to go through… ten, sixteen or twenty… and no matter what type of cancer you had: breast, ovarian or colon, you stuck it out and you made it! It may not necessarily mean the end of treatment… (because let’s face it, some people move on to have surgery and radiation as well) but it at least signifies the completion of one phase… a very difficult one… and that in itself is commendable! Not only because of what you have accomplished but because of the encouragement it gives to the nurses who have stood beside you, and the hope it gives to other patients who are coming behind you.
So I suppose its safe to say the End of Chemo Bell doesn’t only signify the end of chemo… it also signifies a new beginning; it signifies starting over; the start of your transformation; the start of healing; the start of better health; the start of YOU!
I would like to reintroduce myself… My name is Ngumabih. Some people call me Ngumabs. My family calls me Mabih. My friends call me Rose. And some of them call me Rosie cheeks (😊). I am a Mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover of life, simplicity, laughter, beauty, and nature. And now I can safely call myself a chemo warrior as I have successfully completed the first phase and the hardest part of my entire treatment. I graduated on Friday, March 20th, with flying colors and though I’m still not out of the woods, I’m at least halfway through!
So on that faithful Friday, this is what happened…
After the video, I even managed to take a few selfies. I was in such a good mood. Say cheese!!!
I kept peering out of my window… wondering what lay ahead of me…
Then it was time to head out for treatment. I arrived at the center and it was business as usual. Sign in, vital signs, place my IV line, get the blood draws, a flush of my port and wait to be called to the “Blue Room” (don’t worry, I will tell you about the Blue Room later.) Here I am all suited up for war… IV line placed and connected to my port.
Looking good if I do say so myself! 😋
Then I get called into treatment, the chemo drugs and infusion rates on the machines are set up. First thing in…normal saline (saltwater). Then the anti-emetics (drugs to prevent you from throwing up). Then a warm blanket, some ice chips to suck on (to prevent neuropathy: a situation where you lose sensation in your hands and feet due to the side effects of the drugs) and then recline in your seat and stay in position till the treatment is over. Phew! That was long. I can’t imagine I’ve done this for a total of sixteen times! 4 times with Adriamycin, and 12 times with Taxol. The nurses know me by my first name and I know them by theirs. They are now like family. I know about their kids, their kids’ ages and what they say they want to be when they grow up, I know about their favorite sports teams, why they love their profession, why they dyed and styled their hair a certain color, what they typically do when they get off work, what they have for dinner during the week, the nursing homes where they visit their parents, the church where they volunteer part-time, the bake sale they had to raise money for cancer awareness, something that their husband did that upset them that morning that they don’t want to tell me… I mean, you get the idea! They became family.
On this last day, as I sat in that recliner one more time, I was especially happy.
It had just started to set in that by the end of today, I would not have to deal with sitting in that chair, week after week, being poked and have all kinds of toxic chemicals run through my body to save my life. And though I knew how bad these drugs were, I was immensely grateful to how they would end up saving my life. Every side effect paled in comparison to giving me another chance to reinvent myself and rewrite my story. I still have a lot of work to do, you know? God is not finished with me yet!
Here comes the bittersweet part, after 4 hours, my treatment was done and it was time to get out of that chair. Weirdly, I was happy that my treatment was over, but I was also sad that I would miss all the wonderful and smiling faces of the women who had taken care of me for the last five months. Yes, that’s how long it had been. From October till March. And I knew it was time for me to ring the bell. The Echo Bell… The Bravery Bell. But first, a few words for our superheroes.
And I can’t leave without saying “Thank you, Doctor Christian!” Where would I be without you, my brother? Week after week after week. You stuck it out for me. Some people become family by blood. Others become family through friendship. Thank you for being both my cousin and friend. Thank you for being an avid supporter and an instrumental part of my healthcare team. Even the nurses know you by name, Christian. Thank you! ( And by the way, the nurses nicknamed him “Doctor” because that is how dedicated he was to my healing… He knew every drug, every process and every due date that the nurses started to call him “doctor” not because he was one, but because with all that he had learned having gone through this process holding my hand, they felt he had earned the title!)
When my treatment started, he promised that as my big brother, he would be there for me. He didn’t once complain, flinch or get frustrated by the emotional turmoil I was going through, or the severe pain I experienced from my chemotherapy. After my first treatment, I did a video of him… (Christian, I hope your future wife is an avid reader of my blog).
You’re an awesome brother Doctor Christian! Here we are outside on the last day getting some Vitamin D.
Today is graduation day for him too, you know!
I also can’t leave without saying thank you to the wonderful women at The Breast Center who stood by me during the entire process: the wonderful Director Frieda Crawford, Shannon, Lynne, and all the amazing physicians, those who did my biopsies, and those that brought a ton of Christmas cheer to my son and I. Thank you!
Thank you to my siblings, my family and my closest friends who had the painstaking task of taking daunting calls from me at odd hours in the morning.
And that’s it, folks! It’s a wrap. A word of thanks especially to the dedicated nurses for all they do so that they are reminded that some patients know and appreciate the difference that they make. And yes, I had to recite The Echo Bell oath of honor and give three tinkles of the bell.
“Ring this bell three times,
It’s toll to clearly say:
My treatment’s done,
This course is run,
And I am on my way!”
I am on my way indeed. Goodbye, Tchau, Aurevoir, Peace out, Deuces, Zaijian, Arrivederci, Sayonara, Hasta la vista, Proshchay (Прощай), Auf Wiedersehen, Ka-o-di, O-Dabo, Adios! (Well, I think you get my point 😊). Though I could not exchange hugs with the nurses because of the isolation precautions brought on by the Coronavirus, I have to say I particularly enjoyed the fist bumps! (Or should I say elbow bumps?)
Before I left, I took a quick stop to peer into the Blue Room. Remember I told you up above about the Blue Room? Well, this room is also known as the pre-treatment room. It is your last stop before you get called in to start your infusion. Here, all kinds of cancer patients receiving chemotherapy on that day are waiting to get called to start their infusion. Most people have a higher blood pressure than usual typically because they are reminded each time they sit in that room, of what is about to happen when their name is called. Chemotherapy is not a joke. It’s easy to say or to roll off the tongue, but the process of getting through is daunting and though I am not a survivor yet because I still have more treatment to go through, I will always look at Cancer survivors in a completely different light. Hats off to them! Anyway, I digress. Allow me to introduce you to the Blue Room.
If you know me by now, then you know I was going to take a few pictures here, right? lol
I left the building with a pep in my step and went outside to feel the sun hit my face and the clouds open up as if the heavens were saying: we’ve got you. Thanks for sticking it out! (or it could have been all in my head.) A few more pictures to remember this day. The sculpture that I am standing by is known as The Helping Hand. It is a sculpture of one hand reaching out to another. It symbolizes the need for people to help those who need a helping hand. To help people like me.
Now, the usual procedure is to have your family wait for you in the reception area and congratulate you on your completion. However, Corona had plans of its own so we headed home.
Upon my arrival, guess who was waiting for me with a bell of her own -Christian’s mom! She got turned away at the hospital because of the social distancing in place and she insisted that if she was not going to be there to watch me ring the bell, she was going to get a bell of her own and ring it for me. That is basically what my cousin is saying in the video. I understand some of my readers may not know what he is saying. She was just expressing her excitement for me. I thought that was so sweet!!!
Thank you, Aunty Mary, for all those times when you tried to make my load just a little lighter. And my spirit just a little happier. And my pain just a little more bearable. Thank you for being there and for being not only my aunt but a source of comfort when my mom could not be physically present the entire course of my treatment (even though she would have loved to be). Thank you for those nights when you hugged me because I was in excruciating pain from the side effects of the drugs, for the times you wiped my tears when I broke down, for the prayers and the reassurance that everything would be ok. Thank you!
Well, guess who else showed up with some food and a bell of her own? My mom’s sister. My beautiful Aunty Maggie! I just want you to know she is just one of the most amazing human beings I have had the pleasure of knowing. She brought me food, a dozen roses and tons of love and hugs. Thank you, Aunty Maggie, for your endless support, for making some of those appointments, and for canceling some of your plans to take some time for me. As you can tell, I have many moms! I am so blessed!
Ok Ok! Moment of truth… chemo is over, but how did I do? See for yourself.
To the untrained eye, this may not be easy to understand. But here are a few tips. The procedure to get the MRI of the affected organ involves flattening it and positioning it in some way that allows it to be visualized and to capture images of anything within it that is not normal tissue. This is why the images look the way they do. However, that’s not the important part here. The take away is that the image on the right was taken before the start of my chemotherapy and the white specs are the tumors that were present in that breast. The image on the left is the one done after my chemo ended. Did you notice any difference in the before and after?
Take that breast cancer!
I’m over here doing cartwheels…
I don’t think you get it. Let me zoom in a little closer. The resolution may not be as good but hopefully, you’ll get the point. These are the images from my MRI. Right image -before chemo. Left image -after chemo.
Enough said.
I just want to thank everyone who has been praying for me. I am grateful for your prayers, and encouragement. I have to reiterate that I am grateful for my loved ones, my family, and my closest friends who have ridden it out with me. Please continue to keep me in prayers because I am not out of the woods yet as I said earlier. I am done with chemo, but traces of my tumors are still present. I still have to undergo a surgical procedure and aggressive radiation down the line to complete the full course of my treatment. So technically,my cancer treatment is NOT over. But I am thankful that so far, things are moving in the right direction and that I remain resilient in the face of this fire-breathing dragon we call cancer.
So here’s a quick recap of graduation day…
Most people who know me, know that I can be outgoing but I am very private when it comes to my personal life. So why do I tell my story? To demystify the hold and grip that this disease has not only on those affected but also on their families. It is by no way intended to minimize its fatality; but it is to serve as a source of inspiration for anyone who has gone through, who is currently going through, or who is about to go through a debilitating treatment for a condition they had no control over. I want you to stay strong, stay brave, stay resilient, stay positive (at least as much as you can, because trust me… there will be bad days. I’ve been there!) Remember you are not alone. You don’t have any control over what happens to you in life; you do, however, have control over how you choose to react.
If you remember in one of my earlier posts, though there have been other cases of cancer in my family, my case was sporadic. I had no genetic predisposition. Nothing about any of my genetic tests revealed that there was any loss of bodily or immune dysfunction leading to my situation. It’s just the hand I was dealt. And you better believe that though it’s not the hand I would have preferred, I am going to play the heck out of it because I mean who chooses ill health in their right frame of mind?
In the upcoming weeks, I will continue to document my journey and fill you in on some other things. I hope that my blog remains a resource for you, whether you are a cancer patient or the family of a cancer patient and that at best it will uplift you. Thank you for holding my hand and taking this pink walk with me, one step at a time.
I just want to mention ahead of time that I will probably receive some celebratory calls to acknowledge my progress. Please, do not be offended if I don’t respond right away and I indulge your understanding as I take time to get back in touch with everyone. Rest assured I am deeply filled with gratitude for your concern and look forward to sharing more with you and getting back in touch with everyone as time permits. I thank you and my family thanks you.
Graduation is over. I got an A+. Hats in the air! Chemo class dismissed. 🎉🎉🎉🎇🎇🎇
Looking forward to more playdates and adventures with him…
Hakuna Matata… it means no worries! (He loves The Lion King)!
As always, something little for your listening pleasure. The song seems appropriate in this case. Don’t you think?
Stay safe and during this period of isolation due to the current health crisis, cherish this time with your loved ones.
And remember…
My dear God, I praise your name. I am reminded that without you, I am NOTHING. This would not have happened without your permission. Thank you for healing graces. You are the ultimate physician!
Love, light and keeping up the pink fight,
Mabih🎗🎗🎗
Keep checking back in for more to come.
Not sure where you are on my breast cancer journey? Be sure to visit the contents page.
Ps/ I took a little hiatus but be sure to read my next post where I come back and tell you all that happened and has been happening to me!
My dear Bonanza,
You are so strong and courageous.Indeed the Lord does not let any temptation come to us, more than we can bear.He gave u the strength to go through.Your tenacity is an inspiration to many.Indeed all things are possible to them that believe.May the Lord complete your healing in Jesus Name.Love you darling
Thank you, Bonanza! By His stripes, we are healed.
I am so happy for my warrior Sister you are truly an inspiration hon. Thank you Jesus for healing mercies.
I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you; plans to give you hope and a future. Healing mercies received. Thanks Lyn.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!
You have fought the battle and won….claiming it NOW!
You have ran across the finish line
No matter what, YOU ARE A WINNER
Thank you so much for saying that Mandy!!! Thank you
Oh wow… really u are a fighter sis . I really commend you for that . And yeah the next phase is around the corner, may the Almighty God equip you for it . Keep doing what you do 💪💪💪. Luv u 🥰🥰🥰
Chiara! Thank you cuzo! Looking forward to more good times together. Thanks for sending reinforcements during this fight!
Dr. Ngumabih Ngu, Grand Ma, as you were designated by your grandmother, Mami Monica Ngum Ngu as her successor, I can only thank God for your triumph, resilience, and courage displayed since October 2019, when you were diagnosed with breast cancer.
I don’t know where you plucked such courage. I can only thank the lord almighty for such an immense blessing that you are to your father and myself.
I must say that you are a woman of incredible courage, beauty, intelligence, and prayerfulness.
A skill that you possess that differentiates you, is your language and writing skills, which defines you as a true intellectual.
As I continuously pray for healing mercies, let me take this opportunity to register my gratitude to all who prayed for you during those trying moments.
Your son Ian Emmanuel Buban Ngu has been a source of immense joy and immeasurable inspiration to us, constantly joining us as we pray for you.
I also wish to extend my gratitude to all the Doctors, Nurses and medical personnel who stood beside you, during this challenging period.
Your healing process speaks volumes saying things like I never fail, I never give up, I only learn a lesson. Only learning how to grow better every day.
This healing process should enable you to coach and mentor others suffering from the same illness.
I am sure your story will be able to inspire and motivate them, to set positive mindsets towards breast cancer and its cure.
One thing I am sure about is that fear is holding most sufferers down. Fear, in most cases, means Forget Everything And Run. And in your case, it means Face Everything And Rise.
Dr. Ngumabih, congratulations, you raised the bar very high.!
I would like to end here by extending hearty congratulations and thank you to your brother, Christian Morfaw who stood by your side all through your struggle, knowing your medications and drug procedures, and witnessing you ring the bell signifying the end of chemotherapy.
Christian thank you so much. I love you for your dedication and trustfulness.
Mom, thank you for always PUSH-ing! (Praying Until Something Happens). You are the Bomb-Diggity!
Christian says, “what’s up, Aunty Ju? Thank you!”
Dear Mabih,
Thank you for an inspiring story of conquering fear. Like your fathe, you have become a warrior. .A real text book example.
Kindly put this story out soon and let the world draw inspiration from you.
Congratulations my warrior!!
Uncle Peter
Uncle Pete! Thank you for your kind words. Sometimes we have to do things not out of choice, but out of necessity. Thank you for the calls, prayers, and encouragement during this phase of my treatment. God is at the forefront of the battle!
To God Be the Glory,Great things He has done! Mabih, God has touched you so you may spread his loving kindness and his Word to many others! You have a Mission to tell all who come across you and go about telling people about the Goodness of God! You will see greater things happen in your life! May the Lord who has begun his good work in you, bring it to fulfilment! Praise the Lord! Amen and Amen!
Father, thank you so much. I’ve come so far, and still have a lot of ground to cover. Your prayers have paved the way for me. Thank you Lord,Jesus, and thank you Father Tabeson!
I am so proud of you my dear! You braved it through to the last bell! You go ring that bell for the first and last time girl! We are praying for you always for full recovery and no more chemo sessions!! If God is for us who can be against?? Blessings and a bunch of love from all of us!💚💛💙❤
Nachi & The Mbinkar family ❤
Nachi! First and LAST time mami. Signed, Sealed and Delivered. God is for us, all the time!
Dearest sister,
While you dont know me I have been praying for you from Paris. Somehow I could feel your energy and positive both of which have help you through the dark days…
No more dark days sister…only brighter days to come.
Remain strong.
Biz
Salut Dr. McGough! Thank you for your sweet message and for your prayers as well! I know we have never met and that is why I am even more grateful. I appreciate you reaching out. Thank you for following my story and for sending good vibes my way. Indeed, no more dark days!!! I am staying strong. C’est un plaisir de vous rencontrer! Maybe one day, our paths will cross. I hope the weather is beautiful in Paris and that you are staying safe. Bisoux!
I’m just amazed Mabi. Though it’s like a dream, the reality is that I felt sick for the second time after Judith pulled on me a heavy load, then you. The Lord is good all the time. Praying for you to make me smile. Nothing is above God. My grandma is alive and strong. Stay blessed and always. Charles.
Uncle Charlie, where would I be without your support? Where would I be without you and aunty Judith? Thank you both so much! Grandma is not going anywhere 🙂
Hello Mabih,
Praise the Lord! Our God is faithful. Thankyou Jesus.
The video of you ringing the bell and leaving hospital is proof of your courage, strength and the fact that God is good.
You have made it through and we pray God through the intercession of Our Lady Health of the Sick and Help of Christians to complete your healing. Amen
May God bless the medical team and all those who supported you morally, financially and spiritually through this experience.
Please come home and rest as soon as the frontiers are open.
We love you dearie.
Aunty Val & Uncle Achidi NGU
Aunty Val, Achi, Thank you both! Yes, ringing the bell was a proud moment for me. So many challenges, but we have the covering of God. If we are for him, who can be against?
Dear Mabih, smile on! May God continue to put a smile on your face and may He give you joy in your heart! The joy of the LORD is your strength! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! More grace!!!
Thank you so much Mpoke! Can’t wait to have lunch with you and the family in the near future. Thank you for the kind message!
Dear dear Mabih,
I am catching on at the tail end of your pink walk and trying, in my mind’s eye, to see you gracefully taking those last steps.
Your courage, grace and dignity have left me humbled awed.
Your story will change the mindset of people facing cancer, its treatment and its repercussions for several générations to come and I love the way you’ve put it out there.
God bless you and Dr. Christian and all the devoted staff of your hospital
Maggie ENGEH
Aunty Maggie! Sweet like bon-bon! 🙂 So kind of you. My pink walk is not over, but we have reached an important milestone. Thank you for the prayers and please, do not relent. Many virtual hugs from my end to yours!
Dear Mabih,
Your pink walk is truely inspiring.
It’s real, filled with smiles, difficult days, gentle hugs, confidence and above all love. I am filled with different emotions as I read through it.
Cancer changes people but you survived what you thought would kill you. Now straighten your crown and move forward like the Queen you are.
You are our hero Mabih.
May the lord be with you.
Aunty Emmy!!! I cannot even reply here. We go tok!
Hallelujah Mabih darling, God is in total control! Congrats for the end of this phase of your journey. You are a warrior, a survivor, a phenomenal women! It is well and this too shall pass., May God continue to richly bless you and your loved ones..💝😘
Yes !!!
My dear daughter
You rang the survivors’ bell
Congratulations !!!!
Your strength should inspire other cancer patients
You are virtually a rockstar and a light to so many
Your are a hero
You are the preciousness of life
Henceforth I will call to Precious
The Almighty GOD did shower you with wisdom strength and courage
We give HIM all the glory
May HE continue to stand by you
Love hugs and kisses
Mummy Beyegue
Mummy Beyegue,
Thank you for your sweet message and thank you for all the love you are showing my son. merci, Merci, MERCI!
Aunty Ste… God is in control!!!!! Thank you and my love to Uncle Carlson and the family.
Sister Mabih,
” Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Some days there was no song in your heart to sing because of the pain. The Lord strengthen you through this whole journey and you sang IT WITH YOUR SMILE.
Sister Mabih i am very proud of your Pink walk journey. The gloomy days are Over as you begin a New Chapter and all things are renewed in your life. Cancer is Not your portion!! May the Lord bless you with peace of mind, joy, renewed strength and his sweet blessings surround you Champ.
Remember this I am praying for you for I know the Lord is already doing something blessed with you
Champ!
Love you,
Julia Mukete
Isaiah41:10
Julia!!! My mother’s namesake… I appreciate your long AND HEARTWARMING message. We have to catch up. Isaiah 41:10 on my mind.
Oh God if you can’t take it away then give me the strength to go through. Mabih you are definitely stronger than what you went through. I m so amazed by your strength 👍🙏
Cuzo!!!! We go talk! Thank you my brother!!!
Mabih congratulations my Dear! I am proud of your courage and resilience. Thank you for so meticulously documenting your healing journey, and I know it has been an inspiration to many out there. I am thrilled for your brand new beginning!
Cleo, thank you so much for your endless support. I am starting my brand new beginning.indeed! Can’t wait to share more good news with you.
Mabih my dearest,
God has remained faithful and continues to be faithful. Your strength and positivity has been phenomenal in this entire journey. You have been so strong and uplifting when we should be the ones lifting you up. God’s journey for you is just beginning lil’sis!! We cannot thank him enough and we will forever praise him for the wonderful people that he placed in your pa th to walk this journey with you!!
I thank God especially for Christian and for everyone who has supported you through this journey!!
Mabih, you are an amazingly strong lady and I am very excited about the next chapter!!!
I love you much lil’ sis❤️❤️❤️.
Hopefully this corona thing gets over with so we can get together again.
Hugs & kisses dear😘😘
I don’t want to type everything in my heart on here. But I know you already know. Hugs and kisses too!🥰🥰🥰
Congratulations again dearest friend and to Christo. Christo thank you very much for your dedication, selflessness and courage. I pray God blesses you in million ways and grants you long life. You are a wonderful and great man. Amen ! Mabih you’re lucky to have had christo by your side. I don’t think one would have done it better than him. 🤗👌Thanks to his mama too, to all the doctors and nurses. And I’m proud of you ! You rang that bell hard enough. I could see a huge difference in those images. Wow I can’t believe what I saw! God is good, wonderful and great Alleluia! Thanks for this wonderful story that kept me laughing and filling my wine glass all the time 🍷while reading and getting tipsy… ready and can’t wait for your next novel…mouahhh love you and always will 💜❣💚💙💛
Vicka… I remember two days specifically and how traumatic they were for me: the day I got diagnosed and the day I had to come back for my treatment. It felt like I was being led to the guillotine. I don’t know how I got through, but I thank God for the strength to carry my load and I definitely appreciate you walking by me, holding my hands and reassuring me that it would be ok. And yes, thank God for Christian too. God bless you and thank you for all the love you have shown me and my family. My love to the kiddos and please, keep filling your wine glass for me… One, Two, Three, Floor! Gros Bisoux…Muah! ❤❤❤
I stumbled upon this blog today! Omg! My dear Mabih! I didn’t know. Stay strong baby. You were always a fighter. This horrible disease keeps hitting too close for comfort. But you WILL overcome!! Love you
My dear Linda, how long has it been? It is so good to hear from you! I can’t believe I haven’t really seen you since we were in Lourdes! I have such fond memories of us, especially in Bernadette! I am so grateful that you decided to reach out. Yes, I have been “under the weather” to say the least but still hanging tough! How are Lesley and Anita? Do extend my love to them. Keep me in your prayers as I continue the good fight. Love you always and greetings to your family.xoxo.
Sister Mabih, I just read through your story and I want to say I am so proud of you. I don’t know where you got the strength from but I see you are a great fighter. God will see you through. You shall overcome. Love you so much ❤️😍