Mind over Matter

Have you ever heard that saying, “mind over matter”? I have! And for the longest time, I didn’t really fully understand it. I mean, I did. But the full comprehension of it truly happens when you are able to actually apply it. ~~Shit~~ happens sometimes. I’m sorry, stuff happens sometimes. That’s just life. Things we don’t want to happen to us might happen sometimes. And at several different points in my life, it has. I mean for starters, life was already hard as it was for me, then cancer just conveniently dropped itself in my lap.

So anyway, I think to myself, what am I going to do about it?
As a cancer patient, some members that are part of your healing team include a Psychiatrist and a Chaplain. Yes, these people are in the hospital working with cancer patients every day because when you get diagnosed, it can be so overwhelming that you feel the walls caving in. You might need someone to talk to for counseling, or you might need someone to pray with for emotional healing because sometimes, you feel almost as if you want it all to end. Not only can you get depressed, but you might even start to lose faith in God. Like, why is this happening to you? The pain from the treatments, the horrible side-effects, the financial burden, your inability to stay productive, pressures on your family if you have one… all these things can make a person go berzerk! 🤦‍♀️

Now, this is where mind over matter comes in. As a cancer patient, your state of mind is very important. I mean the average person tries to stay positive. As a cancer patient, the odds are against you so you have to try twice as hard for half the outcome (because you have medications that will also interfere with your mood and you have no control over that.)

Have you ever heard of the story about the egg and the potato? I’m sure you’re thinking, Mabih, where on earth is this going. Trust me, I’m going to land. When have I ever let you down? 😉 So here’s the story about the egg and the potato.

A chef takes an egg and puts it in hot water. It boils over and becomes hard. The chef then takes the potato and puts it in hot water. It boils and becomes soft. Now in life, when a person is in hot water, that means they’re in some kind of trouble. The way I see it, you can choose to be the egg or the potato. The egg was fragile before but it went through its trial (hot water) and came out hard-boiled (more resilient). The potato, on the other hand, had a different outcome. It became soft after the hot water. From where I stand, I think I’d rather be the egg. (No offense potato-lovers lol!)

This is where I’m going with this… In life, things will happen. But your state of mind can change the outcome. The potato and the egg were both in hot water. Same hot water, different outcome. Therefore life is not about circumstance but composition. Life is about what you are made of. Life is about your state of mind. Mind over matter, baby! Did I land? Because the thing is, life will throw different challenges at you, but how you choose to face them can greatly change the outcome. Your story may not change, but your state of mind can change the narrative. And that, my friends, is why mind over matter is important. And truly, that goes not just for cancer patients but for everyone.

With that said, how am I harnessing my positivity and optimistic outlook on life in spite of it all? With that good vibes baby!

And what exactly do I mean? What am I trying to say?

No point in adding sadness to ill health (very bad combination!) And because of that, for me, it will always be

Don’t expect everyone to understand everything all the time. Remember, your journey is not for them. It is for you. The moment you get that, you can move on in your own path, in your own lane, and not always have to apologize for some engagements you can’t make because you’re not feeling too well, or for some phone calls you didn’t return because you got overwhelmed, or for some text messages, you couldn’t reply because you were in treatment. And that goes for everyone. In my case, its cancer. Your own ‘cancer’ could be work, school, finances or a personal challenge you are trying to overcome. Don’t get me wrong, keep in touch with people. But also give yourself some personal time if you need to without feeling like you have to explain to anyone. That, in itself, is therapeutic.

With that said, thank you all for your enormous support for me at this critical time. If I haven’t gotten back to you yet, I will. And if I don’t, just remember that saying that “sometimes, people are fighting battles you know nothing about. Be patient and kind.”

Sometimes when things are tough, I think of a few of the beautiful places I have been to…

Or random silly pictures I’ve taken with my son…

Or laughter I’ve shared with friends about old memories. Now, I know why I’m laughing, but we’re not sure why Danny Glover from Lethal Weapon is laughing, and well, Ian is just excited he’ll be having some ice cream!

Sometimes, I look back on random videos I’ve done with Ian that just cracks me up. By the way, Ian is my son. He is an amazing five-year-old boy with a ton of energy, a crazy imagination, and a very witty and interesting personality.
Here are a few videos of him driving me nuts…

Here, he thinks he’s some kind of musician… wait for the kiss at the end!

And here he is laughing his guts out… Don’t even ask me why. Your guess is as good as mine!

And here he is dancing with me. I was really just trying to get a work out in if you ask me.🤷‍♀️

And here I am terrorizing the life out of him with kiss requests. (Ahhhh! If only they could stay five forever!)

But when good vibes fail, prayer never does. That is if you believe in God. It is like that spare tire when you have a flat on the road. You pop it in and keep on moving. You just need to have a little faith. What’s your take on faith? This is what I think:

Faith is the assurance (title, deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen (the conviction of their reality). Faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses.

Psalm 23: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil; for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Because he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

For some reason, that first line: Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death made me think about Coolio and those interesting braids he had back in the day. Shout out, Coolio! (If you ever read this blog). Someone tag him or something… I can hope, right? 🤷‍♀️

Mark 11: For this reason, I am telling you, whatever you ask for in prayer (in accordance with God’s will), believe (with confident trust) that you have received them, and they will be given unto you. 🙏

Ok, that was one heck of a long post. But you get the idea. Mind over matter.

And God too! That definitely helps. A lot!
(I understand not all my readers may believe in God, and I completely respect that. But since this is my breast cancer journey, I am stating what worked for me; what was helpful to me.) It is certainly not my intention to impose any of my views or beliefs on anyone.

Before I wrap things up, I want to mention something that a nurse mentioned to me just before I started my first chemo. She said, “the greatest battle of your chemotherapy will not be physical; it will be in your mind.” Somehow, each time I go for treatment, that lady’s voice resonates in the back of my head, and whenever I feel mentally exhausted, I try to find the zeal to keep moving forward.

Stay happy! No matter what!
And I quote: “Can’t nothing bring me down” -Pharell