To cut or not to cut

To cut or not to cut? That is the question.

I’m sure I’ve got you thinking… cut what?

Ok, let me start over:

“To be or not to be? That is the question!” – William Shakespeare.

Have you ever heard of that saying? It is a quote from the famous play by William Shakespeare known as Hamlet. I love this saying because when I have to make a life-changing decision, I want to make sure I am ok with the consequences and the direction it takes me. Do I go left, or do I go right? If I go left, what happens, or could happen? What if I go right? Aye-yai-yai… Decisions, decisions!

What happens if I go left and the outcome is not as I expected. Am I ok with living with the consequences? Do I have a way to turn back around and make an alternate decision? I’m sure you’re wondering where I am going with this. Hang in there, I will land in a bit.

Before I proceed, I wanted to address one itsy-bitsy thing. I received some heartfelt messages from people who read the post prior to this one and I know… the images from my previous post are quite unesthetic and visually unappealing. Thank you all so much for your concern. It was heartfelt! I know you must be thinking… poor Mabih! I can’t believe you went through that. (Honestly, neither can I). But don’t feel bad for me. I am absolutely fine: mother, daughter, sister, lover, trooper, fighter, and all the other ‘er‘-s out there. I’ve had people genuinely question if my scars look exactly like that. There are variations here and there but I wanted you to get the main idea from images of other survivors.

I told you from the beginning that if I shared my story, I would give it all to you so you have a good understanding of my journey: the good, the bad, the ugly, much like Clint Eastwood’s movie.

I’m sure you’re thinking… the good? (What’s good about this situation?) Well, some good has come of it; I am eternally grateful for my strength, resilience, and persistence. I have learned to cherish all the people in my life who have been there for me. I mean, really been there.  I have a profound desire to live my life and on my own terms; not just to exist. To be purposeful with each action, thoughtful with each word, and mindful with each thought.

It was a week after surgery and here I was after a double mastectomy, heading to my doctor’s office for a follow-up. I’m definitely not my best self here, but oh boy, I am a lot better! As always, Christian is in my corner… behind the wheel.

After an evaluation of my scars and as I started to heal, I had some reflection on the decision I had made. I battled with whether my decision to have a double mastectomy had been the right one; To cut, or not to cut? That’s where that question came from. I hope now you get where I was going with that.

In the beginning,  I was undecided but after I weighed all my options, I was happy with the decision I had made. What I went through in my treatment process was very intensive and I had no plan of going through it again if that was a situation that could be avoided. With my left lymph node affected, the grave possibility that cancer may have crossed over to my other breast haunted me and that was not a chance I was willing to take. I wanted to reduce those odds as much as possible. In addition, the idea of wearing any kind of prosthesis was mentally burdensome for me. I was convinced that having a double mastectomy was the way to go.

She is an A-list‘er’ and Oscar winner and her influence is felt all over the world (… you see, here we go again with those ‘er’-s! ) She has been in a lot of movies we have come to love and she is a classy and talented woman who never ceases to impress. She is bad-ass too if you ask me. Please put your hands together for my girl…

Angelina Jolie!
(Hi AJ! What have you been up to, girlfriend?)

Yes! She’s in Tomb Raider, Wanted, Changeling, Maleficent, Salt… I could go on and on and on. She’s also the United Nations Ambassador so clearly, world peace and overall health is a focus she values. But while we know her for her movies, and her goodwill and causes, it’s also good to know that Angelina Jolie was told in 2013 that she had the BRCA1 gene mutation and had an increased risk of developing breast cancer.

According to the National Cancer Institute, your chances of developing cancer with the BRCA gene is 12%, the BRCA 2 gene is 45%, and the BRCA1 gene mutation is increased by 65%!

Read more about the BRCA1 and BRCA2 tumor suppressor gene and your odds of inheriting it by clicking here

Angelina made the hard decision to do what was called a “preventive mastectomy.” In other words, she took off both her breasts (much like myself) to ensure that she had done everything in her power to greatly reduce her chances of having breast cancer. While I had a double mastectomy because I had breast cancer, Angelina had a ‘preventive double mastectomy’ to prevent her possibility of getting breast cancer.

My right breast was a preventive mastectomy. I wanted to take every measure to reduce the probability of a recurrence. After Angelina made the decision to have a preventive mastectomy, many women who tested positive for similar genetic mutations opted to have their breasts removed. This became known as The Angelina Effect.

So again, I reiterate:
To cut or not to cut? To be, or not to be? That is the question. If I had to do it over, I wouldn’t change a thing!

But here are some things to think about:

1.) How do you feel about mastectomies?
2.) Would you feel better about other choices versus mastectomies if you had those options?
3.) If only one breast was affected, would you use a prosthesis? Or take both off?
4.) If you didn’t have tumors in either breast but knew that you had the genetic mutations, would you consider a preventive mastectomy to reduce your odds?
5.) Would you consider your spouse/partner’s opinion when making your final decision?

Well, after I recovered from my first surgery, I had a second surgery three months later! (yes, the journey is never over until it is lol). This second surgery was reconstructive surgery. Much like a jigsaw puzzle, you could say that the doctors were trying to put me back together. Reconstruction is a long and grueling process, and therefore not all women want to have one. And that’s ok too. But that was my medical decision. I felt that it was necessary to feel some sense of wholeness. But my journey through reconstruction… that’s for another post. So keep reading!

This post is about educating everyone on the options that are out there with decisions regarding mastectomies if you find yourself at a crossroads. Know that you are not alone. As you can see, cancer is not selective. It affects every person!

There is a quiz available from the National Cancer Institute known as the Hereditary Cancer Quiz. It is a questionnaire that will help you determine whether you should further be evaluated for hereditary breast cancer.

Take the Hereditary Quiz by clicking here

Key take away: Families with a history of breast and ovarian cancer can now use genetic test results to make informed decisions about screening and potential risk-reducing treatment in the fight against cancer.

By the way, Angie, if you follow my blog (and I know you do), give me a shout sometime.

Thanks, everyone for hanging out with me. And don’t forget: whatever will be, will be. Stay positive; stay strong.

Sending you all positive vibes as I dance to my “Warrior” song by Hidden Citizens and Rayelle

I was dancing my heart out. Thank goodness I’ve still got it!!!
Love and light, and keeping up the pink fight,
Mabih 💗

I know a lot of people are confused, “Mabih, what signs do I watch out for?” Luckily you’ve got me. Click here and I’ll tell you all about it.