What?!

“What?!”
That’s all I could think to say. How was that even possible?

I looked at him in denial, but the doctor pulled me closer and showed me some of the images he was reviewing. “You see, this is the lump that you felt, in your upper left breast. But these other two, you didn’t feel them because they were not superficial, and you have dense breast tissue. But they are there.” When I saw the screen, I gasped.

And sure enough, there were three MAJOR black blebs of varying sizes on the screen! I couldn’t believe it.
What on earth!

Now, he mentioned that he wanted to follow up with me for treatment, but since I didn’t live in that county, he would have to put me in touch with someone else who would. Funny thing is, I found myself talking again to the same lady who had previously told me they didn’t have any openings until October.

It’s amazing how their calendar just cleared up.

Sarcasm aside, I was shocked but on the flip side, really happy about this news. For one, something had been seen, even if it was something I didn’t like. And secondly, it appeared, there was something the doctors could do about it. This was actually good news. At least I knew I wasn’t being delusional. And whatever was wrong, I would cross that bridge once I got there. In the meantime, I prepared myself for my appointment, and for whatever that day would hold.

Four days later, I am sitting in a hospital, having the same set of procedures done.

Don’t worry, I’m a trooper! This time though, I didn’t have to lean into the screen to look at the images on there. But you’ll probably want to.

Can you imagine, even at this point, my optimistic ass is still thinking, “this is just an adenoma or something benign”. Of course, the pitiful look on the doctor’s face didn’t allow me to think too far. But nothing is ever confirmed without a biopsy, so until the pathologist says it’s a tumor, I’m still good. Well, the pathologist’s report did come back. The very next day! It’s amazing how fast they are with bad news.

In case you missed the bad news, well here is your chance to listen to it in my previous post. So anyway, now that it’s official, I’m waiting for October 9th.

In the meantime, I have some calls to make.
My dad is in his office. He is absolutely livid! Truth be told, I’m a grown-ass woman. But when it comes to my dad…well, I’m truly a ‘daddy’s girl’. I am heartbroken, and so is he.

My dad has a heart to heart with me and we talk for a while. Then I call up my mom. She encourages me, prays for me, and tells me it will be ok, just like before. Why do I say “just like before”? Well, the thing is five years prior, I had a “cancer scare”. Some atypical squamous cells were noticed in another area of my body. Turns out though, they were not malignant. But before a biopsy was even ever performed, my entire family was frantic and so was I. I didn’t want to go through that again, so this time, I waited to be absolutely sure it was the real deal. I didn’t want to put anyone through that horrible ordeal if they didn’t have to go through it. This time was different, however. This time, it was real… as real as it could be. I mean, I saw the tumors myself, got the biopsy -or should I say two. And then the pathology report had been confirmed.

Why, hello there, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Great job on the cancer front! (rolling my eyes.) Don’t get too comfortable because my doctors and I are going to impeach you.

There was no turning back now, and as the days wound down, I wondered what my fate would be.
To see what happens next, click here.

Not sure at what point of my journey you’re on? Be sure to check out The Contents Page.